On Cloud 9...Im ENGAGED!!! :>

WOW...I keep staring at my finger in amazement and happiness...i can't believe that iam actually ENGAGED to the most amazing, sweet, strong, kind, man and that i had no idea that he was going to pop the question. I mean i had a feeling it would happen soon but had no clue he was going to ask me to marry him at the beach, under the stars on our 2year Anniversary!!! Im so so so HAPPY!!! It was so sweet when he knelt down on one knee and told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, reached in his pocket for a little white box with the most gorgeous ring inside...R u serious i said lol, i started crying surprisingly and said YES I don't know how many times...What an amzing day...i haven't stopped smiling :) :) :) And won't for a long time.
So now we are Engaged and looking for a house to buy and make a home together everything just seems sooo right. Iam now even more than before sooo determined to get my band ASAP and look amazing for myself, my health and OUR WEDDING DAY!!!
I just feel so much more driven and motivated now to lose weight and get fit and feel good about myself and love myself as much as my FIANCE does, hehehe so strange to say lol...
So iv had such a AMAZING start to the week i honestly don't think anything could bring me down at the moment! Going to look at more houses this saturday...they are getting cheaper and cheaper, found one we adore but didnt want to rush in, keep looking til we know when its the one!
Work is good getting more shifts.... finally, really need the $ and we got our staff Chrissy party on the 14th and im so excited and hoping i don't end up as messy as last year hahaha ;>,
Jumped on the scales and am down 1kg, i'm not sure why, i haven't been trying lol, weird, maybe once u stop u lose weight...who knows...
So i just had to update u all on the BIG NEWS...and just type it so i believe it too lol....

The possibilities.... :)

Well hi there, im back....with some excellent news...We got approved for a house loan...got $300k to spend, but not sure we want to spend that much for our first home. It made my day getting the phone call on friday...so we have been looking at some houses and found one we are in love with, but are going to keep looking and not rush in too quickly... :) YAY! we can start building a life together!
WOW,tomorrow is our 2year Anniversary, my how time flies when you are having fun :) i can't believe how fast it has gone, i have my special man, a happy life and soon a more healthy one, so iam very very pleased...think we will go out for dinner tomorrow to celebrate and share a bottle of wine, and we have the house to ourselves finally so we can be romantic ;>, I never thought i would be here....now...happy....content in a relationship.....and this is my longest and happiest relationship ever...2 years WOOHOO lol...
So iv been reading about banding on the net and read that some people only eat 2 cups of food a day!!! that seems quite extreme and to me unhealthy??? what is everyones opinions on that...is it normal? It just bothered me a bit, i mean i know i have issues with food etc, and am looking forward to eating less, im not sure if 2 cups a day would be what i want for me, i still want to eat and enjoy my food... Also do any of you out there drink when you are eating, like can u sip a glass of wine whist eating etc?
Is anyone out there still reading my blogs? i haven't had comments or feedback for ages...how sad haha....please leave comments,feedback, advice,etc...or just say hi :>
Will keep u all posted on what is going on in my life....

Loving life right now, and so happy... "To Be Me"

Changes all round....

Hi peoples, well alot has been happening!!! And Iv made an executive decision... im going to switch Health Funds from NIB to HCF, instead of paying $119 a month i would only have to pay $75...BIG difference! and they will roll over the time i have already waited with NIB so i don't have to wait the 12month waiting list...YAY!!! im approved for my BAND in july 09 on the 8th..not too far away...looking forward to 2009!!!
Also my man and i went for a house loan on sat...well a pre approval, and will know on thurs if we r approved...soooo excited! And scared! lol. we have found a few houses we like, so will have a look at them on the weekend. its a HUGE move, but now is the time to buy, and the interest is only going to keep dropping the way things are going and i think we are ready. It just means we will have to stick to a budget and im going to get a 2nd job a few days a week just to put into a savings account to help us get started...And i will have to stay away from the shops and stop buying clothes etc...it will be worth the sacrifice though!!!
Apparently i have lost weight according to other people, though im too scared to jump on the scales and see lol...i don't think i have but i never do so i may have, lol... have been working sooo much and not stopping so maybe all the work has knocked some weight off me lol...
So im feeling finally things are happening in my life that are positive and have meaning and that i have quite a positive future together with my man! :)
Will keep u all posted on any news and am always happy to hear comments and see new followers of my blog! :)
Also anyone out there with HCF who has been banded? would love to hear feedback!!

Spooky..........

Well finally went on my ghost tour last night...went to 2 cemetaries, was pretty cool...the first one had alot of energies and i felt quite cold at first being there, but then found that i felt really at home there after a while, and not scared at all. i got some amazing photos of orbs, and spirits around me, was amazing!!!! Can't explain them, but they were definately there. also heard a baby crying in the distance and a harmonica, and we were in the stix,so explain that!!! When we got to the next cemetary it pissed down and we had to just sit there waiting for the rain to ease, but to my predictions it didn't, so we will hopefully get the chance to go to it again soon... because i got good vibes at that one and it made me realise just how much im into spirits and spirituality.
So not alot is going on today, slept in quite late and am going to work at 6pm, oh joy! Hoping it is quiet tonight, don't feel like being around alot of people today,not sure why!?
Im sooo over food, its not my friend, just a bitchy two faced traitor that tells me they are my friend then stabs me in the back when i turn around and BANG 5kilos...sneaky fucker...i haven't put on weight lately but im just over food and ALWAYS feeling GUILTY when i eat....it sux!!! So i still haven't got my ass to the gym....and am pissed at myself...but between work, trying to do prac and life in general i just don't have the time... guess i have to be a better juggler lol.
so im off to help the neighbours with their garage sale...hoping my partners dirtbike sells. :)
Will have to post some new pics soon, especially those of the ghost tour and my new dress.

So Sick Of Being Sick!!!

So here is sit, can't sleep, can't stop coughing, headache and just feeling generally run down...went to Dr's yesterday, to get something for this cold iv had for over a month now!!! They are starting to help but doc said they may cause thrush.....ooooh joy! lol. Im going to be broke this week cause i had 2days off, eeek. I have just been eating for comfort latley, with the death of my friend, work and family stresses and anything that would make me feel better, low and behold my ol pal...FOOD! But am determined to get back on track!
Got my ghost tour on friday, sooo excited, to get out and do something iv always wanted to do, and to hang out with my mate Biddy! :) GIRLS NIGHT OUT!!!
So its now 12:34am and im thinking i should drag my butt to bed.
Iv been looking into changing health funds, im with NIB and pay $119 a month, so i can be covered for my Banding surgery, but really cant afford it, and am hoping there is something cheaper out there, and just thinking that i hope they will swap the waiting time over if i swap funds so i don't have to wait the 12months again, as i will be approved with NIB in July 09...not very far away, bring it on! Im soooo looking forward to getting this life saving and changing tool for me to begin my new journey....To Be Me! :>
Im sooo happy to see people are leaving me comments and iv been reading their blogs too and really enjoying seeing things from other peoples points of view, it is really helpful...
To all who have helped me, shared with me etc thanku!
I shall return ;) hehehe

Rollercoaster time....

So, hello to all my readers, or lack there of... i know i write these blogs for me, but it is nice to have some feeback or know that people are interested in reading them. Im just feeling like iam on a rollercoaster lately, my emotions, food habits and mind are all over the place and im feeling quite lost and desperate.... i drove 15mins today to get maccas cause i felt low and didn't really care, but the whole way there i was arguing with myself in my head saying don't do it, u don't need it or want it, but i got it and ate it and continued to feel even worse after...im at my wits end and am wondering if iam going to be a good match with my band when i eventually get it, whether i can work with it or am i going to keep fucking it up!!!??? Im starting to feel im a very weak person...in my decision making,determination and will power anyway.
So iv also had good intentions of going to the gym but haven't got there as yet, but im going to make a real effort to get there next week, iv gotta do it!
Got something to look forward to atleast with the ghost tour coming up... should be a fun, spooky and interesting night...
I need a reading ASAP, might get Biddies mate john to do one for me soon, or organise a reading party...might give me some guidance. I think i also need some healing done, got alot of old issues from the past lingering around me and need to let them go to move forward.
Got a wedding friday and got my lovely dress to wear, so hoping i feel really good in it when i wear it...nice to find clothes that u feel good in, makes a difference...
So thats all i have to say really, just venting the thoughts in my head, sometimes it helps!

Thinking thinking thinking...

So... iv had a pretty normal day... cooked tea and cleaned the house before i went to work, damn i spoil my man lol...but he's worth it!
Got my friends funeral tomorrow, going to pay my respects then go to work straight after, i did have the day off, but now i have to work, funeral at 12, i start work at 1, so if im a tad late they will just have to deal with it. I have noticed though, that since sandy passed i have been eating heaps more, obviously emotional, but finding it really hard to stop myself, to say the least...it weird, like u know u shouldn't be eating it but u still do, its like a boxing match in ur own head!!! Quite draining, and frustrating.
Am going to do a ghost tour with my girl Biddy soon, and i can't wait, have wanted to do one for ages, and the fact that iam intuitive will be interesting to see how i react to the experience... want to do the sleep over there soon too, freaky lol.
Also its Halloween tomorrow, for those of u that live in a cave and don't know, im soooo stoked, i love Halloween, not so much the trick or treat thing but the past behind it and the fact that it is an eerie night ;) LET THE WITCHING HOUR BEGIN!!!
Oh and iam going to a info seminar/support group for pre and post banded peeps, should be fun and informative... Im going to make an appointment too to see the Doc that i will be getting banded with, just to get an idea of when i can actually get in to do it once iam approved and see what he thinks i should be doing in the meantime til i can be covered by my Health Fund!!! Just want it now, or better still yesterday....lol im sooo impatient.
So im guessing i should get to bed and get some rest hey....big day tomorrow....