"Pammy" and i are home!!!

Well first day Post Op peoples and happy to say not in too much discomfort, mainly where my Port is is the most tender. I was at the Hospital at 7:30am and in theatre around 8:50am...remember waking up to them pulling the breathing tube out of my throat, was grose feeling LOL.
I can't believe im officially Banded with my (Pammy) :) She shall be my bestest friend from now on lol...All the waiting and now i'am done, my life will be an amazing,learning and self discovery journey for me! And i can't wait to learn and grow and love myself more!!!
Iv got Dvd's coming out my bum lol, thanks to some good mates who are looking after my entertainment needs hehe ;)
Iv had a 1/4 cup of coffee, 1/2 cup apple juice and sips of water so far today...So i take it this stage is anything that will fit through a straw??? Suggestions welcome...Can i have a optifast shake at the moment to sip on n fill me up?
I have some Pre Op pics (in my sexy green & white hosi gown) to put up here when i get a chance and work out how lol....Oh and a weightloss ticker!!!
Im actually very proud of myself for taking the first step to making a better me and a better life...I know i have a long ways to go but im committed 150% to MY PAMMY and MYSELF!!! :)
Thankyou to Dr Munro and all his surgical team and the staff at NGPH, for making my stay and recovery as pleasant as possible :>
Well im going to take some panadol(liquid) and watch some girly movies....
Keep following my progress and watching for new pics, measurements and weight/mind changes :)

Blink & u will miss it....

Well people, i got "the call" today!!! 7:30am at the Hospital tomorrow,OMG, its all soooo REAL now...I have this weird excited,nervous,anxious,happy,relieved, energy running through my veins! :) Plus i think the massage/reiki healing i had done today really helped to relax,centre and ground me, it was Fabulous :> hehe.
So i have my bag packed, my reading and listening material for the hospital and my own pillow to take(i always sleep better with it) LOL. Wasn't sure what to take to wear home, so took a summer dress thing and slippers, or thongs....
Thankyou so very much to everyone with all their supportive comments and words of advice and encouragement, means so much to me!!! :)
I really doubt i will sleep much if at all tonight...But i will try!
I honestly don't have much running through my head at the moment, which is strange for me LOL, i just felt the need to Blog and share what im feeling and to let u all know today is the last day of my life as i know it and tomorrow will be the start of LIFE and my brighter future....My how things will change....for the BETTER!!! :>
Im in my own world at the moment so everyone who is reading, do send me some sexy,happy,skinny well wishes/vibes hehehe ;),
I shall return shortly, with my "Pammy" YAY!!!

Come on Tuesday!!!

I had a really good night at work tonight, i even got a few compliments from my work mates, that i had lost weight and they could see it :> and most of them know im getting Banded so it's good,i have alot of support and people around me and 100% behind me, so it will help me alot!
I think it's finally hit me tonight...that the day iv been waiting for for so long is almost here :)Im getting butterflies in my stomach, more of excitement then anxiety, but i'am a little nervous/anxious...Just want it done LOL...2 DAYS people!!! :o
I weighed in today and i can't believe it...I was 137.6 when i started Opti Fast on the 20th of July and today i'am 127.5 so thats 10kg's,(well 10.1 to be exact lol) GONE, im in total shock!!! I didn't think i could do it,the Shakes that is, but i have and now im READY for the next phase of my journey :>
Iv even noticed my skin is much clearer since iv been on Opti Fast and drinking atleast 2ltr of water a day, plus all the vegies iv been eating, im vegied out LOL!
Im going to measure myself before Tuesday, so i can track my loss in inches as well, so i don't get reliant on my scales lol...
Iv also booked in for a massage on Monday, thought i really NEED and DESERVE one, especially before my surgery. Iv been sooo stressed and anxious and just run down the last few months and even more so these past 2 weeks, i need some ME time!
Got my camera batteries charging so i can get some Pre Op pics of me up on here....if i can work out how to do it... Lol
Night all.....

What a week!!!!

I can't begin to describe the rollercoaster week i have had!!!
On Sunday morning my Mother in law passed away, very suddenly...We live around an hour and a half away and we got there as fast as we could but she was gone! Seeing her that way was devastating and one of the hardest things i've had to deal with, not to mention holding back my own emotions, etc, to help my amazing man and his family!
After 44 years of marriage his Dad has lost his "best mate", and i feel for him soooo deeply...Though i know no words etc can ease the pain, so i will just be there for them, every step of the way!!! Having lost my Dad, of the same thing, when i was younger i know exactly how they are feeling and it takes time....ALOT of time!!!
I told my man his Dad can live with us, because i wouldn't see him on his own. It's going to be a big change for all of us, but it was not even an option for me to not have him here with us! Its quite ironic how death can bring people closer together and test relationships, but i feel it has only brought us closer together!
It really gets u thinking how precious, fragile and fleeting life truly is, here one day, gone the next, and that u really need to make EVERY single day count, make it special, do something new, tell those around u that u love them and to be happy, beacause life is just TOO SHORT!
On top of all this i started my Opti shakes on the monday, really great timing for an "emotional eater", though surprisingly i haven't really eaten much at all, and food is the furthest thing from my mind at the moment, which is probably a blessing in disguise for me!
I got a surprise today, iv lost 7 kilos :o OMG, i couldn't believe it, i was sooo happy, proud and shocked...And it hasn't even been a full week yet! Can't wait to see the end result after 2weeks of 'shaking" it lol!! :> Surprisingly im not finding the shakes that hard to take, i quite like them, lol :o though i need something other then vegie stir fry to eat people....im goin nuts with that side of it!!! Any suggestions or recipes to help make this stage a little easier would be greatly appreciated!!! :>
Only 10 days to go til my life changes and im more motivated, driven and determined then ever to make my "Pammy" work for and with me, and to be kinder to myself and my body....
As much as im doing this for myself, i also now feel like im doing it for my Mother in law & my Dad....to show them wherever they are that im going to live my life and be happy and give them plenty of grand kiddies to watch over and protect!
Life is short people.....so i will live by these words now... LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH, LEARN, GROW!!!
Keep watching for new posts and pre op pics!

It's like Christmas....

Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god!!!! Hurry up August 4th!!! LOL. Im going insane here(in a good way) ;), counting the days till i get Banded, the thoughts running through my head are vast and immense, and im surpised at just how excited i'am,it's like the Christmas Count down, but only its the BEST PRESENT EVER!!!....in my Best Friends words "I've never known anyone to be so excited to get cut up" lmao... She and i have an odd sense of humour.
But as i explained, its not that side of it,well maybe a little, LOL, its the excitement of finally giving myself a Chance, a TOOL(my 'Pammy'), to REALLY LIVE, and grow and learn about myself, my lifestyle and who i really am!
Because i'am starting to realise all iv missed out on, and all iv let myself miss out on, because of my weight, it's very confronting, yet liberating to finally start to address the issues behind my 'love' and 'loathing'of food and myself....And i know it will only grow more and more obvious as i shed the kilo's, the shame, the hiding and the guilt and start to see and be ME!!! :)
Mind u im not not dreading the Shakes faze too much just yet, oddly i know!!! ;o Im looking forward to it a little i think, because iv just been eating sooo much leading up to goin on the shakes on Monday the 20th, that i think it will do me good in a way to detox as such from food and bad foods at that!!!
We are going shopping tonight and we haven't written anything bad or fatty or sugary on our list, we are making a real effort to keep our home healthier and more Band friendly for me,both pre and post-op....If it ain't there u can't miss it (in theory) LOL!
One thing that is annoying me slightly, is the fact that i won't know EXACTLY whats happening til the day before my Op, which for me (i like to be in control) if u haven't noticed is really hard to swallow, i want and need to know what time i go in, what they want me to do, LOL, its just me being anxious/excited but i wanna know so i can get more excited... hehehe :) :) :)
Well im going to jump into bed shortly and warm up, its freezing here, must be snowing nearby!!!
Hope u r all enjoying my excited, nervous, jibberish. Well those who still even read my blogs LOL... Where's the love people??? LOL ;p

28 Days & Counting!!!!

Hey there, im back..... lol. I can't believe how long its been since i blogged :o time flies by so fast, especially with a new house and more hours at work and daily life, and my head has been focused on August 4th..... My BAND Day!!! :> :)
Its coming up sooooo fast, and i can hardly wait! I went through a period of feeling like maybe i won't make my Band work for me, or do i deserve this, what will life be like, etc.... all the nervous unknown questions, and lets be honest irrational thoughts lol.... Which soon were blown out of the water by the thoughts of me being in a better, happier, more content state of mind and body, of looking and liking what i see and what i will be like and life will be like Post Banding.....Hard to imagine! But ohhh sooo exciting and fun :>
I did notice something a tad scary the other day, as i shovelled a bowl of ice cream down, is that i have been eating alot more the last week or so, maybe im a little more nervous then i thought, or it could be me thinking in my mind, gotta get in in now,lol... Im pleased i noticed though. Now i can be aware and knock it on the head!!!
I start the Opti Fast on july 20th, and haven't had great feedback, any ideas, tips etc? lol. Im starting to tell more people also, which is great, it means i feel sure enough in myself and my decision to not care and be proud of this amazing journey im soon to embark on :)
I will say my fiance, family and friends, have been soooo supportive and i couldn't do it without them and their love....im very lucky!
So im off to bed now to dream of my new body and life :) hehehe. Keep watching and counting me down :>

Time flies.....

Well hello out there....Its been a while since iv blogged....i haven't had the time or really much to say....All i seem to do these days is work...no time for play :(
I just added a Countdown Ticker for my BAND DAY!!!! YAY!!! its coming up fast and i can't believe in just a matter of months my life and myself will change in the most dramatic way! :> Can hardly wait!!! I catch myself dreaming, imagining what my life, mind, body, feelings, will be like Post Banding...Its a mystery, and a journey, one im more then willing to take and make the most of every High and Low!
I know being Banded is only the start of my journey, but i can't help but think how happy feeling better about ME and learning to love myself will have been well worth 24years of waiting :)
I got my money from KRudd, am stoked $100 for me the rest for rego lol.... Nice to have a PM who is giving back, even if in the end they get it back anyways lol...
House is going really good, slowly doing things to it, adding my own touches... Though my relaationship has been so up and down lately, hard to keep up! But my life so far is going pretty smoothly....hmmmm i may have just jynxed myself LMAO :o
Im off to give myself a relaxing shower, facial n foot scrub :> mmmm ME TIME!