What a week!!!!

I can't begin to describe the rollercoaster week i have had!!!
On Sunday morning my Mother in law passed away, very suddenly...We live around an hour and a half away and we got there as fast as we could but she was gone! Seeing her that way was devastating and one of the hardest things i've had to deal with, not to mention holding back my own emotions, etc, to help my amazing man and his family!
After 44 years of marriage his Dad has lost his "best mate", and i feel for him soooo deeply...Though i know no words etc can ease the pain, so i will just be there for them, every step of the way!!! Having lost my Dad, of the same thing, when i was younger i know exactly how they are feeling and it takes time....ALOT of time!!!
I told my man his Dad can live with us, because i wouldn't see him on his own. It's going to be a big change for all of us, but it was not even an option for me to not have him here with us! Its quite ironic how death can bring people closer together and test relationships, but i feel it has only brought us closer together!
It really gets u thinking how precious, fragile and fleeting life truly is, here one day, gone the next, and that u really need to make EVERY single day count, make it special, do something new, tell those around u that u love them and to be happy, beacause life is just TOO SHORT!
On top of all this i started my Opti shakes on the monday, really great timing for an "emotional eater", though surprisingly i haven't really eaten much at all, and food is the furthest thing from my mind at the moment, which is probably a blessing in disguise for me!
I got a surprise today, iv lost 7 kilos :o OMG, i couldn't believe it, i was sooo happy, proud and shocked...And it hasn't even been a full week yet! Can't wait to see the end result after 2weeks of 'shaking" it lol!! :> Surprisingly im not finding the shakes that hard to take, i quite like them, lol :o though i need something other then vegie stir fry to eat people....im goin nuts with that side of it!!! Any suggestions or recipes to help make this stage a little easier would be greatly appreciated!!! :>
Only 10 days to go til my life changes and im more motivated, driven and determined then ever to make my "Pammy" work for and with me, and to be kinder to myself and my body....
As much as im doing this for myself, i also now feel like im doing it for my Mother in law & my Dad....to show them wherever they are that im going to live my life and be happy and give them plenty of grand kiddies to watch over and protect!
Life is short people.....so i will live by these words now... LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH, LEARN, GROW!!!
Keep watching for new posts and pre op pics!

It's like Christmas....

Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god!!!! Hurry up August 4th!!! LOL. Im going insane here(in a good way) ;), counting the days till i get Banded, the thoughts running through my head are vast and immense, and im surpised at just how excited i'am,it's like the Christmas Count down, but only its the BEST PRESENT EVER!!!....in my Best Friends words "I've never known anyone to be so excited to get cut up" lmao... She and i have an odd sense of humour.
But as i explained, its not that side of it,well maybe a little, LOL, its the excitement of finally giving myself a Chance, a TOOL(my 'Pammy'), to REALLY LIVE, and grow and learn about myself, my lifestyle and who i really am!
Because i'am starting to realise all iv missed out on, and all iv let myself miss out on, because of my weight, it's very confronting, yet liberating to finally start to address the issues behind my 'love' and 'loathing'of food and myself....And i know it will only grow more and more obvious as i shed the kilo's, the shame, the hiding and the guilt and start to see and be ME!!! :)
Mind u im not not dreading the Shakes faze too much just yet, oddly i know!!! ;o Im looking forward to it a little i think, because iv just been eating sooo much leading up to goin on the shakes on Monday the 20th, that i think it will do me good in a way to detox as such from food and bad foods at that!!!
We are going shopping tonight and we haven't written anything bad or fatty or sugary on our list, we are making a real effort to keep our home healthier and more Band friendly for me,both pre and post-op....If it ain't there u can't miss it (in theory) LOL!
One thing that is annoying me slightly, is the fact that i won't know EXACTLY whats happening til the day before my Op, which for me (i like to be in control) if u haven't noticed is really hard to swallow, i want and need to know what time i go in, what they want me to do, LOL, its just me being anxious/excited but i wanna know so i can get more excited... hehehe :) :) :)
Well im going to jump into bed shortly and warm up, its freezing here, must be snowing nearby!!!
Hope u r all enjoying my excited, nervous, jibberish. Well those who still even read my blogs LOL... Where's the love people??? LOL ;p

28 Days & Counting!!!!

Hey there, im back..... lol. I can't believe how long its been since i blogged :o time flies by so fast, especially with a new house and more hours at work and daily life, and my head has been focused on August 4th..... My BAND Day!!! :> :)
Its coming up sooooo fast, and i can hardly wait! I went through a period of feeling like maybe i won't make my Band work for me, or do i deserve this, what will life be like, etc.... all the nervous unknown questions, and lets be honest irrational thoughts lol.... Which soon were blown out of the water by the thoughts of me being in a better, happier, more content state of mind and body, of looking and liking what i see and what i will be like and life will be like Post Banding.....Hard to imagine! But ohhh sooo exciting and fun :>
I did notice something a tad scary the other day, as i shovelled a bowl of ice cream down, is that i have been eating alot more the last week or so, maybe im a little more nervous then i thought, or it could be me thinking in my mind, gotta get in in now,lol... Im pleased i noticed though. Now i can be aware and knock it on the head!!!
I start the Opti Fast on july 20th, and haven't had great feedback, any ideas, tips etc? lol. Im starting to tell more people also, which is great, it means i feel sure enough in myself and my decision to not care and be proud of this amazing journey im soon to embark on :)
I will say my fiance, family and friends, have been soooo supportive and i couldn't do it without them and their love....im very lucky!
So im off to bed now to dream of my new body and life :) hehehe. Keep watching and counting me down :>