OVERWHELMED :S

I haven't blogged in so long, life has had me trapped.... So much going on that i feel at my wits end....
Broke up with my Fiance, Had a Dry Socket (sooo painful) & my Brother passed away suddenly 3weeks ago and im feeling as if things aren'y going to get better anytime soon...Im trying to keep positive but it's really getting hard. Just wishing everything and everyone would back off and give me a breather!
Not to mention trying to settle the house, which is stressful in itself... Keep telling myself just BREATHE!!!!
As for my weight loss, it's going great, well thats about the onlty thing in my life that is at the moment... Im down 45 Kilos to date & I want to lose another 15-18 Kilos then i think thats it... Im feeling alot less lethargic and more motivated & starting to look into Tummy tucks, etc now to fix all the damage iv done to my body over the years...
Its quite frustrating to feel & see all the loose skin especially on my tummy & thighs, moving around, chaffing, and just getting in the way of my New more active lifestyle!
Have found my saviour in the Trinny & Susannah Undies that help flatten and hold all the skin in place...especially when i want to wear nice fitted clothes to show off my new shape.
Another thing iv noticed thats even HARDER then losing the weight is training my MIND & learning to see myself & my body in a different way, stopping the negative self loathing thoughts & trying to look past ALL the skin...The weight has gone but the insecurities still remain! That sux! But after 25 years in the making it will take time i guess.
Thats one thing iv noticed is that the After Care ( emotional & mental side) of Lap Banding is lacking, well atleast around here... Im seriously considering forming a local support group to share experiences, tips, clothes, recipes, and maybe outings... I think its vital to address both the Physical & emotional aspects of weight loss!
Off to see Metallica on Saturday, can't wait... Then fly to Melbourne a week later to see them again :) Thank god, i need a holiday sooo bad, its only 3days but it will be great!!!!
Well im glad iv shared the latest with you all & hope people are still enjoying following my Blog, please leave me some comments, as i LOVE reading them :)
Be safe & Well

Lots to tell....

What an emotional time I’ve had lately, filled with trials and tribulations, failures and successes, heartbreak and tears… But I’m starting to see a tiny light flickering at the end of this dark and lonely tunnel-….
Some of you may have noticed that I DID IT!!! I’m officially in double figures, finally, YAY!!! That was a huge hurdle for me and I’m sooo happy and proud that I have finally got there. More mini goals to be set now…I find it helps having small goals to work towards and rewards for yourself.
I’m now newly single (long and personal story) and though it’s been a very rough start to the year, I have learnt a lot more about myself and what I want and DON’T want in my life… Having to get used to living back at my mum’s though lol…Have painted my new/old room and enjoyed doing it and making myself a sanctuary where I love to be. J
I’ve also had some exciting news…Looks like I may be on “What Not to Wear”, with Trinny & Susannah!!!! Will know in the next few days…So excited! It would do me the world of good to have a makeover and learn how to dress my NEW body, instead of covering it up! I’m such a huge fan of the show and love to watch the ladies work their magic every week J will keep you all posted.
Travel is now on the cards for me, Melbourne in November, Thailand in April, and hopefully a lot more in between…I have been bitten by the “Travel Bug” he he…Europe is calling me in the next few years I think.
Still loving shopping now, NEVER thought I would say those words, but it’s a whole new world for me! Even my foot is starting to shrink, well in width atleast. I’m starting to see that if I wear more fitted clothes, it really does make me look smaller, compared to hiding under big baggy tents! NO MORE HIDING! Especially with summer coming, it’s time to shed the layers as well as the kilos!
It’s funny how losing something so important in your life makes you put things in perspective, think about things in a different way and look at things in a different light…Life is definitely all about learning and growing and loving (YOURSELF!) as well as others! The JOURNEY so far has been exciting, trying and full of learning….And it will continue for a long time yet…
Hope everyone in Blogger land is well, happy and enjoying life.
Feel free to drop me a line………

WOW! :)

Well peoples, it has been a while... Is anyone still out there in Blogger Land? LOL.
I got quite a shock/pleasant surprise today, i went to get new work uniforms, as mine are now too big, and the lady had my Pre-Banded measurements :0 OMG!!! Here they are...
THEN- 26/5/09
BUST- 56"
WAIST- 54"
HIPS- 60"
BICEP- 17"

NOW-1/3/10
BUST- 49 3/4"
WAIST- 46.5"
HIPS- 50.5"
BICEP- 14"
Thats a total loss of 26 1/4 inches!!! :) I couldn't believe it when the lady gave them to me was a liberating moment for me...
It's crazy to think i have lost that much in Inches!!! Was so shocked when i actually seen it infront of me... Am feeling very proud of myself :) :) :)
Life has been crazy lately, up and down and round i go....My head is always buzzing with thoughts, sometimes i wish there was an OFF button lol.
Really not much to tell, i have finally cracked the 30kg mark and am excercising alot more, but not regularly enough thoughm but enjoying it when i do, just getting the motivation up to go and do it! Noticing my body changing more with the excercise, im finally seeing i DO have a shape ;), hehe.
Need to work on my eating a little though, have been falling into some old habits of eating when emotionally unstable and not eating the BEST foods, but im aware and back in the saddle again. BE STRONG!
Am also looking at getting a tattoo of the word BELIEVE on my wrist, it means alot to me and it will be a reminder every time i see it, to Believe in myself, my convictions and things that are important to me :)
Not much else to tell, house is going good, bills never end, home life is so so, family going good, etc....
Im officially another year older, and i had such a wonderful birthday, out for dinner, drinks and dancing with my mates, felt really good to go out and feel like i can just BE ME, no one stared, if anything i got so many compliments on how much weight iv lost....And it was a BIG step for me to wear a sleeveless top out in public :) The NEW Nikki is starting to emerge :)
Noticing my man seems to have some trouble adjusting to my new found confidence, i mean he has been supportive but not as much as i thought he would be...I guess its all new for him too though.
Went to ACDC, was sooo AMAZING, those guys still have it :) LET THERE BE ROCK!!! :>
Anywho, will try to upload a new pic of me, if i can work out how lol. ;p
Please leave me comments, i love to read them and see what people think of my blog and my journey :)

Come on!!!

I have not blogged in a long time, partly because i haven't really had much to tell in my Banding world and partly because my personal life has been sooo up and down! Im feeling really low today, just hate my current situation and my job and having NO money all the time and bills keep coming! Its sooo depressing!
I can't keep telling myself everything will be fine, because nothing is changing! I need and want a new job that pays better! Sorry peoples but i gotta get it out.
Let me just say... my weight doesnt seem to be changing too much the past couple of weeks, but my clothes sizes and body have... I put a size on lay-by 14 in City Chic the other week, was in shock... it's funny how every shops sizing is different, some places im a 16, others an 18, and some even a 14 lol... But i felt sooo happy and proud that i have gone from a size 24 to where i'am now :) I seriously cannot remember when i was in a 14-16 last...atleast 10years ago..WOW!!!
Still only had one fill (3.5-4mls) and thought that was odd or not normal, but talkin to a good mate and researching made me realise im quite lucky and if its workin to not stress about how many fills i have etc, it's WORKING!!!
Well im going to go and try to keep my mind busy....Might do some cleaning.
I hope people are still reading my blogs... Photos are coming.