Awakening...

What a turbulent year, especially the last few months! Had a few big discussions with people yesterday, that were long overdue and shed alot of tears and truths yesterday...was a relief but also i still feel in limbo and i hate that! But all in good time, life is all about timing, so im learning.
Food and band wise everything is going pretty smoothly, plodding along and not much to report really...weight is still coming off slowly, and im not having any issues with my band, other then if i drink too fast i get shoulder tip pain, i noticed i got it when i had a few beers on saturday...But i know i could speed things up with some excercise, which i will, but currently don't have the time or energy to commit myself, so after Chrissy im hooking in! :) LOL.
Someone made a comment about the fact that iv only had one fill of 4mls in my band since September, but i really don't feel the need to go back as yet, im still only eating off a bread n butter plate, not hungry in between meals and am not PBing etc, so im rather content with where im at and my progress :) Just seemed like as a banded person they felt the need to tell me where they thought i should be! Lol...i don't fall for peer pressure anymore :p hehe.
Am going to get my mum a choc lab puppy for Chrissy, and surprise her, she's always wanted one and i found the most gorgeous litter, soooo freakin cute, but around 6hours away :s but i will go the distance for my mum, heck it's the least i can do xox Plus i get to babysit it til chrissy :) yay!
Next week i go to Pearl Jam and then go away for 4days with my Ladies :) should be excellent, nice private cabin, with pool, and plenty of cocktails hehe ;) And it will just be good to destress, no man, no work, no drama's, just chill, god knows i need it! ME TIME!!! LOL...
Seen Nickleback and Static X last week, OMG, soooo amazing, had no voice and could barely move my neck after all that but i had the best time! Music moves my soul!!!
Well im off here now to enjoy the gorgeous day before work.
To all in Bloggerland, smile, be safe and have fun.... Drop me a line sometime :)

HAPPY BAND DAY TO ME (& PAMMY) :)

What a great day iv had! Can hardly believe it's already been 3 months since i made the choice, to save myself and my life and take control!!! And the day i met my Pammy :) 22Kilos down so far and "really" starting to see it.
Had a customer iv known for years say to me tonight "OMG Nik, u have lost so much weight, u look fantastic" she said she wanted to say something to me ages ago but wasn't sure if she should, lol, incase i was sick or something, even though i didn't look sick LOL, i told her she had made my night :) was very sweet and uplifting, and made me feel proud of myself! :)
It's amazing just how much i have changed inside as well, in such a short time, as my mate Bridgy and i were saying a while back, the Band does something to ur mind and spirit, but at the same time u have to meet ur band half way and make.
It's just been a very reflective day and also just all round good, balanced in the box at work Lol, had fun, and was just a good day :)
Two days off, YAY!!!! Tomorrow im going out for lunch for my mates Birthday and it could get messy LOL, really looking forward to chilling out with my mates and a few quiet ones, or alot hehehe ;),
I think friday shall be a day of relaxing and possibly a night of BBQ's with my friends and family...and swimming! Yes folks u heard right!!! Im swimming!!! Can u believe it!!?? I can't!!! It's awesome, i bought a cute pair of swimmers which are really flattering and i feel rather comfy swimming in my own pool with people around and i didn't think i would..I can't believe i let myself miss out on something i love soooo much for sooo long!!! NEVER AGAIN! The real test will be in a few weeks, when i go away with my Ladie's to a resort, me, strangers, swimmers, hmmm...Ahhh fuck it hehehe Piece of cake, so to speak LOL. :),
Food has been really good the past couple of days, but bad that i haven't really eaten alot, not because i can't, just because of the heat and not really feeling hungry...It's funny how i used to eat even when not hungry, i felt i had to, or i was missing something, and don't get me wrong i occasionally have the odd too much too eat , especially sweets, but with my Pammy i'am limited still so it's not anywhere near where i was pre banding.
Was going through some old papers and found an affirmation a Reiki Master i knew years ago told me to say every morning... "I'am Love and i'am Choosing to Love and Approve of Myself " I have started saying it and it resonates with me...hope it does with someone else out there too...especially women, we need to love and approve of ourselves!!! We Deserve it! xox