Rollercoaster time....

So, hello to all my readers, or lack there of... i know i write these blogs for me, but it is nice to have some feeback or know that people are interested in reading them. Im just feeling like iam on a rollercoaster lately, my emotions, food habits and mind are all over the place and im feeling quite lost and desperate.... i drove 15mins today to get maccas cause i felt low and didn't really care, but the whole way there i was arguing with myself in my head saying don't do it, u don't need it or want it, but i got it and ate it and continued to feel even worse after...im at my wits end and am wondering if iam going to be a good match with my band when i eventually get it, whether i can work with it or am i going to keep fucking it up!!!??? Im starting to feel im a very weak person...in my decision making,determination and will power anyway.
So iv also had good intentions of going to the gym but haven't got there as yet, but im going to make a real effort to get there next week, iv gotta do it!
Got something to look forward to atleast with the ghost tour coming up... should be a fun, spooky and interesting night...
I need a reading ASAP, might get Biddies mate john to do one for me soon, or organise a reading party...might give me some guidance. I think i also need some healing done, got alot of old issues from the past lingering around me and need to let them go to move forward.
Got a wedding friday and got my lovely dress to wear, so hoping i feel really good in it when i wear it...nice to find clothes that u feel good in, makes a difference...
So thats all i have to say really, just venting the thoughts in my head, sometimes it helps!